Life’s Daily Inspiration A Mans friends!

Life’s Daily Inspiration A Mans friends!

Life’s daily inspiration In Man Friend!
Life’s daily inspiration In Man Friend!

Life’s Daily Inspiration in a man who showed himself friendly

               We as humans want to define what a person has accomplished in life by what they have or own.

But, it’s not right. You can be poor as a church mouse and be very

wealthy indeed.

Last week I lost a dear friend to stage 4 lung cancer with metastasis to bone, liver and multiple other places.

His name was Mr. Fred and he was eighty years young.

He didn’t know what slow down and pace yourself meant. He lived every day as if it was his last. A real “life’s daily inspiration.” Mr. Fred lived life to the fullest.

Mr. Fred went to the ER on Christmas Eve. He was still walking on but he was in a lot of pain. He had been cutting brush out at his farm the week before and ended up with a total of nine ribs fractured. Supposedly from cutting brush.

The hospital doctor gave him pain meds and sent him home He was to make a Doctors appointment with his regular Doctor the following week.

His regular doctor wasn’t convinced of the ER doctors diagnosis. The X-rays didn’t look just like broken ribs.

The next appointment was with an oncologist. His family Doctor got him an appointment ASAP for 3 days later.

The oncologist scheduled several tests before his appointment.

Again Mr. Fred walked into his appointment with his son Luke with him. The news was bad . He had stage 4 lung cancer with Mets to the bone, liver, pancreas and multiple other places.

The Oncologist sent him home with Hospice.

That’s how I got involved. We had been friends for a few years. The family knew I had retired but after explaining he likely had days only his son asked If I would care for him at home.

This sweet little teddy bear of a gentleman every holiday for the last two years brought me either a slab of smoked ribs or smoked pork butt. ( the whole thing) or a whole smoked Turkey.

Why did you say? To show me how much he appreciated my care of his wife Elaine.

 Life’s daily inspiration In  Man Friends!
Life’s daily inspiration In Man Friends!

That was not necessary and I had told him so repeatedly. But, he said it was something he could do.Before each holiday he would call me up and say, he was on his way with my barbecue. He always told he would never forget how good I was to his whole family.

I tried to tell him I treated everyone the same. But, truthfully some are easier to love. Mr. Fred was one of those.

I came to care for Mr. Fred around 4:30 on Tuesday evening on the eighth of January. Which believe it or not was the anniversary of his wife’s death two years before on the eighth.

They say it’s a small world and I believe it.

Mr. Fred had been hanging out in his recliner for the last week. If he wasn’t at the the doctor’s office, he was sitting in the recliner day and night. Those ribs made it impossible to lie down and then get up to go to the bathroom.

I met his son Luke and his Daughter June at 4:30 like I’d said. A hospice admissions nurse came 20 minutes later to admit him to hospice.

He slept in the recliner that night. We would get the new meds from the hospice pharmacy the next morning. The next morning Mr. Fred was in a lot of pain until we got the meds from the hospice pharmacy. A short time later Mr. Fred was in no pain for the first time in a week and a half. I was able to clean him up and put him in bed for the first time in a week in a half. He had a lot of company that 2 days. 54 friends and relatives came to see their friend and loved one. He had a good night was very comfortable.No pain with new pain meds.

The 3rd day found Mr. Fred unable to get up. Awake off and on part of the morning. But, unable to speak. By early afternoon he was unresponsive to all.

He had over 38 people come by that afternoon and morning.

6:30 am the next morning I called the family. The son came ASAP the daughter started up from Atlanta Ga. His sister Susan came who lived in town. Mr. Fred died around 11:15 am , a half hour after his daughter arrived. Friends and family continued to arrive until around 4 pm.

This man’s legacy wasn’t in his earthly processions but rather his legacy was in his friends left behind. He always had time for a friend. He was a natural encourager and an inspiration to those that new him.

Proverbs 18:24

A man that hath friends must be found friendly. And there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Thanks for reading with Elaine and I please let us know how you’ve liked our story.

Blessings,

Scarlett and Elaine

What makes a life’s daily inspirational moment?

What makes a ”life daily inspiration” moment? For me may be a different life daily inspiration for another wouldn’t you say?

“Life’s daily inspiration” presents itself in many ways and sometimes you must look deep within to find it.

Scarlett and I have been the in the medical field for many years. Or should I say decades to be correct?

We specialize in end of life care. Hospice is our passion. We are often asked how do we do this type of care, and doesn’t it make you sad all the time?

These are valid questions and concerns.

When I ( Elaine) started my Hospice journey I will admit it was overwhelming. A lot to be honest.

I wasn’t certain if I could do this.

Oh I understood and felt confident I could appropriately make my assessment, implement the plan of care, educate the patient and family and discuss with the medical team when needed and as changes occurred.

That I could do.

But how could I emotionally support the patient if I had never walked in their shoes?

I could however relate to the child that was losing a parent, aunt, uncle, friend or co- worker.

That I had experienced.

Through trial and error, I suppose in reality it was the patient that showed me. Taught me .

Yes of course Scarlett and I were provided training in learning ” how to ”

We were taught extensively in the importance of being present, listening to what was and was not being said by the patient. Verbal vs none verbal comments. Body language etc.

We have also been trained in how to care for the patients and families regarding their culture.

Respect is vital. There are many, many, different religions, none religion, and cultures that mandate what needs to be done.

One family we cared for we were told we could only speak to the husband but do not look at him in the eye.

Another family said their loved one must be buried within 24 hours of passing.

One family said all mirrors in the house had to be covered with towels.

Another had a sign on their front door, no shoes allowed.

Scarlett and I often had to assign only male certified nursing assistant to the male patient and vice versa for the women.

Some families would not let us come to their home on certain days of the week or after dark.

Some patients wanted their hospital bed to face the sun and some wanted the opposite.

It’s all about respect and Scarlett and I have often said we recognize we are on holy ground.

This is powerful.

So getting back to how do we do this?

To be honest, our patients teach us, every day we are given pearls of wisdom.

We have learned sometimes it’s OK if we just hold their hand and say nothing while knowing we are saying plenty.

We have learned sometimes when the patient or family ask a question that we and the team do not have an answer.

It’s OK to say we just don’t know.

Our patients, well, no one wants to be lied to or patronized. Yes honestly is best.

Our patients have taught us what is important, significance over strife, priority, the meaning of acceptance and forgiveness.

Scarlett and I are better people because of our Hospice journey.

We have been so blessed to walk this journey with our patients.

We have gone into so many homes, different homes, from rich, to middle class to the poor.

To the large family, small family and no family.

Some homes we find that the family wants to help and be involved to others wanting to hire people to care for their loved one, to sadly no one wanting to help.

Fortunately we have a team of social workers that help families navigate their chosen path, to the nursing assistant providing personal care, the chaplains for spiritual care or to just listen and some of the chaplains have been asked to come sing and agree to perform the funeral.

To the nurses, nurse practitioner to the MD.

We are a team. Our priority is our patient and their family.

Interestingly often times the family they have chosen are not blood-related.

We at hospice follow their lead, it is after all their journey. We are blessed to be part of their journey and we support their chosen family.

I will tell you I have relied on our chaplains many a time to help me with my emotions as well.

How can we not be touched by our patients and families ?

Please know hospice does not mean everything is sad, just the opposite.

When our patients are comfortable and able to be home and/or with their loved ones there are often times of laughter, stories are shared and many times relationships repaired.

So how do we do this ?
With pleasure!

Scarlett and I hope you enjoyed this and maybe it took you to an inspirational moment or a special time in your life.

Would you mind sharing it with us ?

“Life’s Daily Inspiration” Christmas Past!

“Life’s Daily Inspiration” Christmas Past!

  

“Life’s Daily Inspiration” Christmas Past
“Life’s Daily Inspiration” Christmas Past


Let me share some of my favorite Christmas memories. Even
  though it’s been years they are still sharp in my mind and they remain a life’s daily inspiration to this day.

When I was about 7 or so we would travel to Albany, Kentucky for Christmas week. The whole family piled into the car. Mother packed our gifts usually 3 a piece and off we would go. Oh, a Life’s Daily Inspiration for sure.

Funny I remember the trips because my Dad would never stop for bathroom breaks. Lol ,he would holler before we left “stop now and go before we leave this house or hold it!”

 And he meant it . My brother Carl tested it every time. Once my Dad made him pee in a bottle. My brother was humiliated and never forgot it. Guess you might say he was traumatized Lol. 

   Not sure why our Dad  never wanted to stop. It might I guess have had something to do with he was sick of all the arguing. Usually started by my brother putting his feet on me. No kidding. My Dad would always say now stay on your side of the car both of you. Don’t make me stop or you will get a whipping. Got it? To which we always answered yes sir! There were no yeps or okays when you answered my father. We knew to answer yes sir. To bad kids today don’t have that same respect.

  Anyway off to Kentucky we’d go. I always took 2 gallons of water. Why? Have you never had to drink sulfur water?

Well, they claim it’s very good for you. But tastes horrid. My grandparents and Aunt both had it at their houses. While my dad grew up drinking it. He always managed to talk me out of water for coffee.

   Then there was my dads much younger brother and sisters still at home. All of us slept upstairs without any heat. Under tons of blankets.

  My Uncle Vernon always whittled us something for Christmas. Yes, I said whittled. He made rifles hand carved. Then put a clothes pen where the hammer of the gun would be. That was we could shoot rubber bands at each out. Just like a slingshot worked. He also made handguns the same way.

Yep imagination that was our greatest asset. Out back of the farm house was two old cars they were rusted out. No windshield. No glass at all actually. No seats except for the springs.

We played every conceivable scenario with those old junk heaps. Spending hours playing. Without one electronic toy.

 Then we would go to the barn and play in the hay loft when we thought we could get by with it. We would start up my granddads old tractor. The  older boys would put us in the hay wagon and pull us around the farm. It was great fun as long as we didn’t get caught. But, as always there was a pay day Lol.

  Every evening that week we would work on making Christmas ornaments.

There were not any store bought ornaments back then. We made homemade gingerbread cookies. Making a hole at the top to hang them. 

 

“Life’s Daily Inspiration” Christmas Past
“Life’s Daily Inspiration” Christmas Past

We made stars and other shapes like angels, churches out of aluminum foil and cardboard. We strung popcorn and cranberries. We didn’t have any lights. But on Christmas morning we could light candles for about 15 minutes and sing Christmas carols. 15 minutes because of danger of fire. My grandparents didn’t have TV or electric lights. Not even an inside restroom. No, we used to the outhouse. My least favorite thing at grandmas house.

   But some of the most memorable Christmas Holidays happened at my grandparents house.

There both gone now but the memories I will have with me forever.

please leave us your comments below our share a memory from your Christmas past with us.